The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

Facts Are Not Negotiable

with 7 comments

Facts are not my personal fucking opinion. When I quote the manual for a product we are using, or describe something that you, as a professional developer, should be aware of — such as the differences between clustered and non-clustered indexing — then you don’t have a great deal of options. You can either sit down, shut the fuck up, and learn something; or you can describe how this may not be relevant to the situation.

There is no option C: “well that’s what you think, perhaps we should try my idea anyway”. The whole point of hiring a consultant who knows what the fuck they are doing is so you can avoid the trial-and-error treadmill; and if you don’t think you can trust me, why are you paying my bills? Seriously… get someone else, we’ll both be better off. You’ll have someone who will accompany you on your wild goose chase of “performing a join client side will be faster”, and I won’t have to work for a bunch of fucking retards.

Ta-dow. How’d you like me now?

I do not turn up to work to join your internal politics. I am getting three to four times your shitty salary, and thus have already pissed higher than any line you can imagine. I am there to keep myself in fast cars, strong booze, and loose women — I am absolutely not interested, in the slightest, in carving myself out a unique smelly patch of your local flavor of fail. You can keep it.

The only reason I am trying to do my job well is so it looks nice to the next chump who hires me. You claimed I would have the resources so I can do my job in the interview process. No fucking backsies.


Written by 3laws

August 3, 2010 at 11:49 am

Posted in Uncategorized

7 Responses

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  1. […] Les faits ne sont pas négociables – « Tu peux soit t’assoir, ferme ta gueule et apprendre quelque chose, soit me décrire comment ton idée n’a rien à voir avec le problème en cours » […]

  2. No stories lately motherfucker? Has it got too much for you? I am guessing you wear matching top and bottom purple sweats, eat doritos all day, and play WoW.

    Breen Whitman

    October 15, 2011 at 4:17 am

  3. Another dead blog.

    Kyle Huff

    December 15, 2011 at 11:43 pm

  4. ” I am getting three to four times your shitty salary, and thus have already pissed higher than any line you can imagine”

    And I am imagining that situation has turned around, you sad unemployed fuck.

    Yes, we can all over perform for a short while, but then people crash and burn…as you have, faggot.

    Dave Plimmer (@OpensimZealot)

    December 17, 2011 at 4:17 am

  5. 3Laws, you pompous fucktard. You obviously are just some plebeian. Your ramblings are just fantasy, dreamed up in the shitty cubicle you *actually* work in 8:30-5:00pm.

    You fuck knuckle.

    Jew Lover

    January 6, 2012 at 2:22 pm

  6. “You can either sit down, shut the fuck up…”

    Haha. Sounds like someone shut your pie hole faggot.

    Lots of retoric, and no substance. Go back to your job as a Barista you faggot.

    1st Law: No Faggots

    January 27, 2012 at 6:55 am

  7. These blogs are just written by a bitter couldn’t-get-job-consultant and can’t handle it in the real world. A real consultant has skills, but can step into a disfunctional organization and apply them professionally. pffft. The rantings of a manic depressive.


    March 31, 2012 at 7:31 pm

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