The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

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with 3 comments

Occasionally you are in the situation where the stakeholder is a bit of a dumbass, you spent last week and a chunk of the budget on a cocaine bender, and there is no way you are going to get things done properly and on time. This is where one of programming’s oldest institutions can help you – I am talking about the Bank of Technical Debt. Here you can take out a loan and borrow some time against your code quality, but you can be damn sure you’ll have to pay this back.

They Thought The Deal Was Legit

In the good old days, doing it wrong and early was a considered strategic decision. Not so now – we are agile, and every dumb fucker is an “independent professional” (read noob), and their strategy is to make themselves look good at the next meeting by getting as many tickets closed as possible with barely defensible code quality. Then when management starts reporting progress to clients using the current flavour-of-the-month Agile management tool it turns a bunch of lazy programmers into an all out race to the bottom.

Be Damned If They Let Themselves Burn And Crash

I can hear a rushing noise on the wind; the ninja-auditors from the Bank of Technical Debt are coming here to violently foreclose on the massive loan that this company has accumulated. I honestly have no idea if this fuckin’ awesome sounding metaphor means the real bank coming knocking for its money, or the stakeholders waking up and realizing just how fucked everything is.

Normally I would have employed Rule #3 and got the fuck out a while ago – but my paychecks (in advance) are still clearing. I’m also saving my best piece of consultancy for last: “You should have listened to me more”. Dumb fucks.


Written by 3laws

October 25, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. […] La banque de la dette technique – « … tu sais que tu n’arriveras jamais à finir correctement et à l’heure. C’est là qu’intervient la plus vieille institution des programmeurs : la banque de la dette technique, qui échange un peu de temps contre la qualité du code. Mais faut pas oublier que la banque est toujours remboursée à la fin » […]

  2. […] de la phase de recette fonctionnelle. Bon courage à l’équipe de développement pour éponger la dette technique. Share this:EmailTwitterLinkedInJ'aime ceci:J'aimeSoyez le premier à aimer […]

  3. […] il ne faut pas se leurrer : tout ça c’est de la dette technique, et rien de pire pour une solution informatique de commencer sa vie encore plus endettée qu’un […]

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