The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

Protips #462

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First impressions when you meet a client count big. With a decent entrance you can make every suggestible noob in the place think you are the solution to all their problems. In this edition of Protips, you’ll learn a secret pro maneuver, which is guaranteed to increase your rate, and your chance of banging the receptionist.

Every Day I’m Hustlin’

Office buildings have positive pressure due to the air conditioning. You want open up the ceiling hatch of the lift. When the lift arrives at their reception, people will hear the ding and be looking at the doors when they open. People will be influenced by a feeling of lightness due to a slight pressure drop. It will feel like something just happened, and you’ll be casually strolling in with the wind blowing your shit around movie style. You will look like the goddamn messiah arriving.

Get The Most Not The Lesser

The HR chick will feel like you are “a good fit” because she wants to fuck you. Think I’m crazy? You forget that working in HR has only slightly more qualifications than supermarket trolley handling. Metacognition is hardly up there on the skill list. Their laughable aptitude tests won’t be a problem – presumably you know the fuck what you are doing technically.

Well TBH you were odds on going to get the contract anyway – but enjoy the extra twenty bucks an hour, and the hot receptionist.

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Written by 3laws

January 23, 2009 at 3:48 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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