The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

Knee Deep in Improvements

with one comment

Right now I feel like Ludwig von Herbgaarten, Landscape Gardener extraordinaire, and three time German Gardening Monthly “Man of Hard Wood”. Ludwig has just laid down a spec-fucking-tacular garden under contract for the Crown Prince of Ubercashistan. He tells the rest of the team to finish up the fence and fertilize it and trots off to spend some well earned time in the palace harem. When he comes back there is a fence through the middle of the fucking duck pond, and the entire place is knee-deep in horse shit.

And all my pretty flowers died, you incompetent noobs.

You just lost the Game

You hand over a polished, well designed product. A maintenance team shouldn’t have any issues adding minor functionality on client branches with your well designed and documented setup. Yet every damn time you get called back six months later to help with some issue they are having, and find the size of the codebase has tripled, functionality is up 10%, and functioning functionality is down 50%.

Not that I claim that software engineering metrics are anything but complete bullshit, but if function points per kloc starts to go down like Paris Hilton, then it must be due to someone playing design doctor with their dick out.

Get off my lawn

Blame can be laid at the door of the juniors of course. They are positively itching to whip out their dicks and do some real software engineering so they can pull chicks at Sharepoint conferences or something. They ignore the fact that all the hard parts have been deliberately done for them because their role is suited to their ability (editing config files, and perhaps a new implementation of IShitSelector for some picky bastard of a client).

When a chance comes up like this to stamp their clumsy boot print all over my nice design, how can they resist? Can we really blame them? Of course we bloody well can. My recommendation is going to involve “your ass” and “fired”. GTFO.


Written by 3laws

January 21, 2009 at 12:29 am

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. […] Des améliorations jusqu’à plus soif – « Et toutes mes jolies fleurs sont mortes, saloperies d’incompétents !» […]

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