The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

Cargo Cult Coding

with 2 comments

During WW2 the US used to run some bases off tiny pacific islands and keep the natives happy with food, trinkets and cocaine. So after Uncle Sam upped and fucked off, these poor uneducated natives tried to bring back the magic delivery planes. I shit you not, these crazy bastards built wooden runways, wooden air traffic control towers, and made dudes sit in the tower with carved headsets to try and bring them back.

You can train a noob…

What do you get when a pro spends some time with your team of noobs and gives them advice? Trained noobs, bunches of them, blindly applying some mantra that once applied to a long-gone specific situation, and then exaggerated. “You could use an interface to expose that common functionality” becomes “You should use an interface all the damn time. Every class should have a matching interface.”

Its best practice… apparently.

You know what best practice is? Knowing what the fuck you are doing before you start banging out code, you fucking monkey.

Don’t even get me started on the 20 year old “optimization” tips. People not using properties, citing “performance” reasons. Heard of JIT inlining? Even your damn CPU reworks x86 into its own internal instruction set on the fly.

Do you really think that some 1990s C optimization trick carries over to C#? Its likely the changes you are making has zero effect on the binary that is actually running. Its equally likely that, even if the shit you are “optimizing” ran instantly, your app would still suck due to all the List<T>.Find you have used everywhere.

You suck more than the guy who wrote your compiler. Get over it.


Written by 3laws

December 4, 2008 at 2:04 am

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. […] Le Culte du Cargo – « La première des Best Practices ? Savoir ce que tu es en train de faire avant de commencer à pisser du code. » […]

  2. […] on voit leur implémentation et nos temps de réaction à leurs questions, enfin pour éviter le culte du cargo pour le prochain […]

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