The Three Laws of Business

No freebies. No backsies. GTFO.

Agile: Cockburn and butthurt

with 3 comments

In software, when noobs aren’t quite sure where they are going, and aren’t sure how they are going to get there, they whip out the Agile card. CIO Magazine put up an article about how the original signatories on the Agile Manifesto are crying about noobs failing under the Agile banner. Cockburn, it is your fault, quit trying to weasel out of responsibility for it.

Its like +5 to Fail

So with a bunch of noobs convinced that a bunch of buzzwords is going to let them skip the boring bits of software development, like… all the planning phases, they can get right down to coding the fun bits and add on the hard bits later, right? So when you can’t answer a simple question about the domain model 75% through the project, its all going to be fine?

Hint; not being able to use precise terminology to describe your domain model is a symptom of not knowing dick about your problem. Good luck writing anything but utter crap when you don’t have any idea what the fuck is going on.

And while I’m at it, no. No you cannot just agile in important things like cluster support and atomic transactions later.

Oh I See What You Did There

If you plan on using Agile to get out of writing proper documentation, then get ready to agile your sphincter for the angry client. Properly written user stories are hard work, harder than a traditional func spec.

Forget the “we are all independent professionals” bullshit as well. Most likely you have perhaps one pro guy who can keep a handle on the requirements and design – if you are lucky, and the rest are a bunch of clueless noobs.

glhf

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Written by 3laws

November 19, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. […] I hadn’t read this until today which was only after reading this (probably offensive to many). I need to add this to the Agile Pitfalls I posted earlier. So apart […]

  2. […] Méthodes Agiles – « Si tu pensais pouvoir utiliser les méthodes Agile pour éviter d’écrire une documentation correcte, alors tiens toi prêt à Agiler ton derrière pour calmer le client en colère. » […]

  3. […] privilégier les individus aux processus ». Si vous entendez un chef de projet agile vous dire qu’il ne fera pas de documentation parce que ce n’est pas Agile, c’est qu’il n’a rien compris à […]


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