Kicking off (in the nuts)
So to kick off this extravaganza of web two point uh madness I would like to point out how I keen I am to meet the chap who coined the phrase “Software Engineering”. I would very much like to kick this asshole square in the cods.
Millions of monkeys.
“Software Engineering” has convinced hoards of low rent CS graduates, who never quite had the grades to get a real engineering degree, that all they have to do to qualify for the title is make shit as complex as goddamn possible and then walk around like dick swingin’ motherfuckers while talking about how the project is “scalable”, “extensible”, and can give “five nines availability” on hardware that barely manages three. Then when the project hits the magic mark where the client wants to actually see something working, everything is abstracted so far away from any semblance of reality that the people designing the system don’t actually have any idea about the problem domain at all.
Also it doesn’t fucking work.
Ook, a monolith!
You see that’s the other thing about all the shiny IOC, ORM and thread pooling libraries you downloaded off the interwebs – they don’t excuse you from actually understanding what the fuck is going on inside them. No, you can’t be pro by downloading a bunch of code and wiring it together with a big stupid grin on your face.
So how does it go now? I take your money, you don’t want to throw away any of your valuable code, and we dance around for a few sweet months, and then I ditch you for another sugar mummy.
And it still doesn’t fucking work.